Staying abreast of the situation
by Merisha
Summary: Birthday fic for PADavis - happy birthday bud! Dean’s overactive libido gets him into trouble. Hurt Dean/Protective Sammy … and some humor – Dean's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Staying abreast of the situation**

**Part 1 **

By Merisha

**Synopsis:** Dean's overactive libido gets him into trouble. Hurt Dean/Protective Sammy … and some humor ;0) – Deans POV.

**This is a little two part birthday fic for Phoebe (5****th**** June the whole day) … hope you have a wonderfully awesome day bud, with loads of surprises … and keep Al away from the cake … I'm still expecting a piece in the post ROFL!! ;0) **

Also check out these amazingly fantabulous stories that Phoebe and Kris (alias darksupernatural) did for my birthday (2nd June) 'does the happy dance again' LOL ;0) – They are both so amazingly talented and if you love their stories as much as I do, please leave them a little review … reviews are like candy LOL ;0) – Plus a quick thank you to everyone who left me little birthday wishes … thanks guys … you are all so incredibly awesome!! ;0)

Phoebe: PADavis - Its a Kind of Zombie Magic

Kris: darksupernatural- Stumbling into the Eye of a Storm

Un-beta'd … all mistakes are mine … here goes …

**Warning:** Mild Language and some adult content.

* * *

Oh god, yeah … that was freaking fantastic … I huff … a huge grin plastered on my face, I'm absolutely exhausted … haven't had a good romp in weeks. Sweat is glistening off my torso as I watch her finger trace a line down my chest, best workout I've had all day. I give her my most charming smile as I lean over her again and cover her lips with my own in a deep kiss, letting our tongues fight for possession. She's beautiful, curvy in all the right places, and she knows how to use those gorgeous, full lips. It's been far too damn long and my deep moan of desire ignites a fiery response in her again as she pulls me closer. Just as my engine is revving up for round two, I hear a car door slamming downstairs. I look at Nicky? Noleene? Something with an N? in confusion.

"Oh shit … my boyfriend … he's back!"

She doesn't look half as surprised as I probably do.

"You've got a boyfriend?" SHIT! My eyes are suddenly wide open and my voice comes out in a panicked whisper.

I hop out of bed, scampering around looking for my discarded clothes as I hear the loud knocking at the front door.

"Shit, shit … why didn't you tell me?"

She just shrugs her shoulders and grins at me … freegin chicks, I hate it when they lie about being single … and with my luck he's probably some huge bruiser who's gonna knock me into next week when he catches me with his girl.

I clean up as best I can, while jumping into my jeans, pulling up the zip as she leans over to kiss me again, a bemused look on her face. Our lips are still locked as I try to put my arms through my shirt. I gently push her away … the knocking downstairs is becoming more insistent.

"You'd better go open up for him before he breaks down the door … I'll just climb out the window …"

She frowns at me in disappointment … I'm beginning to think she wants her boyfriend to catch us together, some girls get off on that … I frown at her again … the prospect of lying in hospital with a bruised and swollen face makes me dress even faster. I could probably take him, but this isn't his fault … my own stupidity and being on a long, drawn out case with only my pain in the ass little brother for company … out in the wilderness … miles away from any action … got me into this mess.

"Will you call me?"

Freegin hell … she's unbelievable, there's no way on gods green earth that I'm calling her again … she has a boyfriend … god I feel dirty, and besides I'll be long gone before she's even fully dressed … but I need to get out of here quickly.

"Yeah sure …"

She smiles at me pleased as she pulls on a robe over her naked (and still really hot) body … my mind drifts off for a second … before I realized that she's blowing me a kiss, swaying her hips as she saunters downstairs.

Groaning, I roll my eyes … I hate sleeping with girls who have boyfriends ... I mentally reprimand myself … and her while I'm at it …

Still slightly pissed, I do a quick check, I've got my pants, my shirt, my shoes, my jacket … I'm set. I scramble for the window, carefully looking out. I see her boyfriend step into the entrance downstairs, mumbling something about 'what took her so long' as she quickly grabs him into a hug, kissing the questions off his lips. Yup! He's colossal, probably a quarterback ... I could still take him ... I watch as his huge bicep ripples under his tight t-shirt ... maybe. My heart is racing in my chest as I carefully balance on the trellis outside her window. Crap! How do I get myself into these situations? I'm seriously contemplating being celibate for another two months right now … I can't help but snort at my own joke, two months of "draught" is what got me into this mess … besides I wasn't thinking with my brain, well the upstairs one anyway!

I'm hanging precariously on the rungs as I try to find my footing through the dense foliage. I can see her through the lounge window … she's still smooching the crap outta that guy, poor bastard. He seems bigger … great … just keep him busy honey while I make my get away … but there's an ominous creaking sound. I look up just as the trellis breaks away from the wall. Oh SHIT! I lose my grip and suddenly I'm falling. I can't stop my yelp of surprise as I land hard on my back, my head making first contact with the lawn, smacking the turf with such intensity it rattles my teeth. Everything fades out for a second before I can focus again.

"Ouch!"

Oh double shit! I jump up with lightning speed as the front door slams open. _'Okay, time to make a serious move Winchester … turn on the turbo's'_. I dash across the yard, my legs almost in front of me, while yelling frantically for Sammy.

"START THE CAR ... START THE CAR ...!"

I can hear approximate size 16 shoes stomping over the shrubbery just behind me, a loud growl accompanying it like a thunderstorm. It sounds like a grizzly is chasing me … I'm going to be so dead if he gets his hands on me ...

Don't get me wrong … there are worse ways to snuff it, other than being killed by a jealous boyfriend … but I'm way too young and sexy to die …

Sammy is already in gear as I throw myself through the open window, half landing on his lap as he screeches off, tires burning, down the road … the boyfriend yelling obscenities about my questionable parentage, some of the references making even me blush.

I burst out laughing ... Sammy glaring at the road in feigned concentration.

"Shit Dean! What the hell is wrong with you man? You trying to get yourself killed?"

I pull my legs in through the window, with my head still resting on Sammy's lap as he looks down at me in disgust. I manage to untangle myself as I sit up, rubbing the bump on my head absently.

"Sorry bro … I had no idea she had a boyfriend man."

He just shakes his head irritably.

"I'm seriously getting pissed at this Dean … sitting around, waiting in the car … like the get away driver!"

I glance at him sideways, frowning.

"Shit Sammy … what the hell's biting you on the ass?"

"Nothing … apparently!"

It suddenly dawns on me … if I haven't had sex for weeks then Sammy's probably been having a dry spell … well … for months … hell, probably more like years. Damn, no wonder he's so edgy. The kid seriously needs to 'polish the torpedo'. Next time I'm on the prowl I'm gonna have to find sisters or best friends or something, so I can hook him up for some serious lovin'. Besides being all clogged up like that just can't be good for you!

I'm not in the mood for a fight and I'm starting to get a headache, so I wiggle my eyebrows in his direction.

"Oh I see … that's rather kinky Sammy my boy! Ass biting?"

It takes a few seconds but eventually there's a small grin tugging at his lips.

"No … you jerk!"

I lift my eyebrows.

"Really … you prefer jerking to ass biting?"

He tries to fight it but his face finally cracks into a full fledge smile as he chuckles.

"If there's an ass in the vicinity … it's definitely you!"

I grin back. Works every time!

"So did you get any research done while you were sulking in the car?"

"I was not sulking … and yes actually, cause someone in this outfit has to do the work … not all of us can be the pretty sidekick!"

I glare at him … he fades in and out for a second as I blink hard. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Bite me Sam … I'm not the pretty sidekick … I, my friend, am the bonafide superhero! Just call me … Batman."

I use my mysterious voice … letting the word "Batman" hang in the air.

"Besides I'm the one with the manly name … not the girly one … Sammy!"

"It's SAM!"

He chuckles, swatting at my arm and I grin … still testing the bump on my head … it's forming an impressive egg, but at least it's not bleeding. Sammy looks across at me, his humor immediately turning to concern as I quickly remove my hand and give him my "I'm just peachy" look.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just bumped my head …"

His eyes grow wide … and he starts breathing heavily through his nose … oh yeah ... he's having one of his panic attacks …

"Shit Dean … how bad? I saw you fall man, but I didn't even think ... SHIT ... where did I see that hospital …?"

His head spins around as he tries to read the signs along the road …

"… what day of the month is it? …"

I chuckle again, reaching out to put a placating hand on my over-reactive younger brother's arm.

"Dude … chill … it's just a bump …"

He rolls his eyes at me in irritiation and I know what's coming before he even opens his mouth.

"DEAN … don't you freaking tell me it's just a bump … the last time you said it was "just a bruised rib" … you had a punctured lung ... you're so freaking stubborn about these things … and damnit to hell I'm not taking any more of this BS from you!"

His hands are shaking slightly on the steering wheel, god … I need to diffuse this situation quickly before he jumps on me to do mouth-to-mouth … I shudder, then huff … who thought the kid had a memory like an elephant … how long ago was that anyway? 3 maybe 4 months ago … he's never going to let me live that down.

"I promise you Sam … I'm fine, really … it's not bad, and it's the 5th … the 5th of June … you happy now?"

He still doesn't seem convinced and immediately goes into his patented sulk pose, lip rolled over in the "I'm irritated as all shit with you right now" pout … so I try another tactic. There's one sure fire way to convince him I'm feeling great … the need for food … if I'm hungry, then Sammy's automatically happy … he knows I don't eat when I don't feel well. I wait for a few seconds.

"Sammy … I have me a serious hankering from some Southern Fried Chicken … yessireee … what do you say? Can we stop off somewhere? I'm freaking famished!"

It works. His eyebrow lifts up suspiciously as he looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"Southern Fried Chicken?"

"Yup … just like dad used to make!"

Sammy snorts again.

"Dean … dad couldn't fry a chicken … hell, he could barely cook one … remember that time when I was convinced it was one of those gag rubber chickens on a plate of potatoes … and dad kept saying it was 'stuffed french hen' … and I lifted it up by it's wing, dropping it … and it actually bounced … he was so pissed …"

We both chuckle in amusement at the memory, I watch the laughter lines on Sammy's face for a second ... it's nice to see him laugh, it's one of the small joys I get out of life ... and it's great to have someone who remembers dad with me. Sometimes I feel like we're the only two who keep his memory alive ... he wasnt perfect, but he was a hellava man ... and nobody remembers him for that, for what he did, for all the lives he saved ... except me and Sammy.

"Okay, not dad's chicken ... but I want me some chicken ... and then maybe some pie ... yeah, definately some pie!"

Something catches my eye and I grin happily as I point to the sign a few feet ahead of us.

"There … a KFC … just up ahead."

Sam rolls his eyes dubiously. His got that health nut look about him … oh crap … here it comes ... I slump a little in my seat ...

"Dean … how about some wholesome home cooking instead ... we could stop off at a grocery store and I could cook you something … I mean do you have any idea how much fats and salts are in a piece of Fried Chicken? Not to mention the shit they put in those spices … making you want more …"

He licks his lips subconciously. I grin.

"Yeah, but it's the Colonel's secret recipe Sammy … and it's finger linkin' good!"

"Dean … you are going to kill yourself with all that cholesterol man, clogging up your veins and arteries, thick and gooey shit… it's going to give you a major heart attack one day!"

"Dude … are you trying to take my appetite away?"

He looks hopeful.

"I want me some KFC, and that's that … I can smell it from here, so pull into the parking area … they always screw you at the drive thru!"

He sighs, giving up in defeat while I smile victoriously. Big brother wins again ... okay ... I don't really win that often, but hey ... today a little battle in the sibling war was won ... by me. I'm tempted to throw my arms up in victory, but that would be overkill. He maneuvers us into a parking space just in front of the door before looking at me. Oh freaking hell and crap and damnation … his eyes are morphing into that damn puppy dog bastard look ... the look that still manages to melt my freaking pansy-ass heart every single time, as I stare at him in disgust … shit …

"Just do me a favor Dean …"

I squint at him, god I need some aspirin, headache is turning into a full blown throbbing. Just as quickly I start feeling sick, but there's no way I'm going to tell Sammy … not when I've just got him off my case … I try not to sound too miserable …

"Yeah … sure … whatever …"

He starts getting out of the car …

"Get a salad as well … just something small and healthy … to eat with your chicken … why not have a wrap? It's chicken with salad ..."

I can't help but grin again … god … Sammy's like a mother hen … a pecking, niggling, pain in the ass mother hen … who hasn't seen a rooster in months … I chuckle evilly as I push myself up, my hand quickly going out … hitting the roof of the car … trying to steady myself. Shit, the world is suddenly spinning around me, and my head feels like it's going to explode … pressure building up behind my eyes. I grunt as I take a few deep breaths and use all of my will power not to sit back down again. I watch in fascination as something drips onto the pavement near my feet … red … blood … I look up at Sammy, hopefully he hasn't noticed.

No such luck … he's instantly in my face … his hand going out to steady me …

"Dean … shit … you're bleeding …"

He lifts my chin, anger immediately flashing in his eyes … I'm in all kinds of shit now … great … I try to smile at him sheepishly … it doesn't help …

"I'm going to kick your ass man …"

His voice is silent but threatening. He hooks his hand under my arm … I don't even try to brush him away, he's already way beyond pissed right now, don't need to add fuel to the fire. Besides my brain feels like it's leaking out of my ear, sitting down is maybe not such a bad idea … I reach up to touch the moisture, my fingers coming away … red … blood … oh double shit …

"Dean! Look at me … we are taking you to the doctor right now … no freaking arguments … you hear me!!"

He mumbles something under his breath about me being an asshole, while he tries to maneuvre me back into the car.

I nod my head, sending the world in another fast spin as I reach out, clutching onto Sammy's sleeve. I try to take a tentative step forward as the ground tilts, Sammy's panicked face still hovering just inches from my own as I try to balance myself. I'm almost sure I've pulled it off when my knees suddenly buckle. Luckily he's still clutching my arm and manages to support me as I collapse to the ground. I just lie there, looking up into his blurry face. I don't feel to good Sammy, maybe I should take a quick nap.

My eyes start closing but he shakes me hard and I watch in fascination as his mouth works furiously … he's shouting … at me … then looking up … shouting at someone else … but I can't hear him above the loud buzzing noise in my ears. I want to tell him that I'm fine, I think … it's just a bump on the head … nothing serious right … but people are gathering around … and Sammy looks scared. I try to focus on his face, black spots blocking out his features … he's on his cell … I can see my name on his lips but everything is fading fast. He seems to be fading into a dark tunnel, slipping further away. I try to push myself up …

"I'm … okay …"

I fall back in confusion, I can't hear my own voice … I don't know if I said the words or thought them … darkness starts descending on my confused brain … and I know one things for sure ... Sammy's definitely going to kill me when I wake up … and I'm way too young and sexy to die …

_**TBC ;0) – part 2 will be posted after dinner, or breakfast or lunch (depending where in the world you are) ;0) ...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2 **

**Synopsis:** Dean's overactive libido gets him into trouble. Hurt Dean/Protective Sammy … and some humor ;0) – Deans POV.

**This is part 2 of the birthday fic for Phoebe (still 5th June the whole day) … hope you are having a fantabulous day bud ... with loads of wishes and gifts (gifts are good) ;0)**

Still un-beta'd … all mistakes are also still mine … here goes again … enoy! ;0)

**Warning:** Mild Language and some adult content.

* * *

"Dean ... listen to me ... stop fighting ... they're trying to help you?"

Fighting? I'm fighting ... Sammy ...

"What's wrong with my brother?"

I can feel people ... holding me down ...

"Your brother is suffering from severe head trauma Mr Davis, there's a blood clot causing intracranial pressure, we've inserted an ICP monitor and we have him on strong medication, but if that doesn't bring down the swelling in the next few hours we'll need to operate."

"Just tell me ... is he going to be okay?"

Operate? ... a crap ... that can't be good ...

--

"Dean ... you can wake up any time now bro ... please ... please wake up ..."

Okay Sammy ... just let me sleep a few minutes more ...

--

"... it's not uncommon for patients to be unconscious for a few days, some even weeks ... but he's doing good."

"Thanks doc."

Sammy?

He's rubbing my arm.

Sammy ... where am I?

"Dean ... you're scaring the shit out of me man ... please, you need to wake up ... I need you to be awake so that I yell at you for putting me through this again ... please ... please wake up!"

Sleep sounds like the better option bro.

--

I open my eyes, leaning heavily on the passenger door, as Sammy pulls into the motel parking lot. I look at him groggily.

"Hey ... hey ... how you feeling?"

"Tied ... um ... tired."

Sam smiles, reaching over to help me to sit up, waiting and hovering ... checking to see if I'm with it, or if I'm going to pass out again ... or throw up again ... or all of the above. He's been doing it for 3 days. Ever since I woke up in hospital. I was completely out of it for over a week ... it was apparently touch and go there for a while, but the doc's given me a clean bill of health. Just need lots of bed rest and no strenuous activities for the next couple of weeks. Which apparently includes no sex ... and the nurses were hot ... tripple shit. Sammy meanwhile has been fussing me non-stop, doing everything the doc told him to do to take care of me. I know it will eventually build up into a major fight, it always does ... besides I can tell that he's still pissed at me ... he gets that expression ... there it is ... but I must look really sick because he's been holding back, biting his tongue where he'd usually give me the what for. So I let him fuss ... it keeps the peace.

"Do you think you can make it to the door ...?"

Oh no ... he's not carrying me ... not again ... I give him the thumbs up ... nodding my head will just hurt. He quickly jumps out of the car and rushes over to my side, opening the door and leaning down to help me carefully to my feet.

I sway for a few seconds and satisfied that I'm not going to nose dive into the tar, he wraps my arm over his shoulder while I lean heavily on him as he manoeuvres us to the door. My legs feel like jelly as he fumbles with the keys, opening the door. I see my reflection in the hall mirror ... shit ... I look like shit ... all pale faced and dark smudges around the eyes and a huge white bandage covering most of my head ... I try to grin ... it looks worse ... so I stop grinning and frown instead.

Sammy helps me to the nearest bed, supporting me as I sit down and then gratefully lie down while he fluffs a huge pillow behind my back. I'm so tempted to swat him away, he's starting to get on my nerves ... but I leave it ... he was really worried. I know ... he only fusses like this when he's had a huge scare, and I can see it in every nervous glance he throws my way. He probably thought I was going to die for sure this time ... but he should know by now ... I just keep on ticking. I watch as he puts a blanket over my legs, then gently tugs my boots off one by one. I'm too tired to complain ... and too drugged up to care ...

I find myself grinning at him in a loopy haze ... my eyes half closed ... the stuff they gave me is definitely the shit!! I've got to remember the name ... get more for the first aid box.

"Smeeee?"

"Hey?"

He looks at me in confusion ... I wiggle my mouth slowly ... lips are a bit numb ... let's try that again.

"Sam...my?"

He leans forward.

"Yeah Dean?"

"Hunagry."

He sits down next to me on the bed, checking my pupils worriedly and holding up four fingers ... I'm tempted to show him a finger of my own.

"Hungary is a country Dean."

Oh shit ... this is going to be a long conversation ...

"No ... I'm hungry."

"Oh sorry man, hungry, right ... I think it's the drugs ... the doc said it might be one of the side effects."

My tummy rumbles loudly in response.

You don't say.

He looks at my stomach like he and it are communicating somehow ... I snap my fingers weakly in front of his nose to get his attention.

"Sorry Dean, guess I'm a bit tired ... what do you want? A burger?... fries? I can order in some pizza?"

I very carefully shake my head, letting it roll back and forth on the soft pillow.

"Nah ... I want ... FCK!"

"FCK ... really?"

He smirks.

"Yeah ..."

Sammy covers his mouth, unsuccessfully trying to hide his amusement ... don't know what he thinks is so funny ...

He stops when he sees me watching him in bewilderment.

"Um ... shit ... sorry bro ... let me rather order something in ... I don't want to leave you alone ..."

I give him the '_please Sammy'_ look, I've been thinking about the Colonel's secret receipe the whole day. He seems torn ... I up the patheticness of it ... he eventually sighs, telling me he'll only go if I promise to stay in bed and not move a muscle. I grin happily... I think it's the first time the '_please Sammy'_ look has ever worked. Either I'm getting better at it or maybe some of Sammy's puppy-dog-attitude is rubbing off on me ... I crinkle my nose in disgust ...

"Okay, you can stop looking at me like that, I'm going already ... I'll go to KFC, it's just a few minutes away anyhow and I'll leave the cell phone next to the bed, so if you need anything ... and I mean it Dean ... anything ... you call me!"

I nod.

"So ... what do you want? A wrap?"

He looks at my slyly ... I'm drugged but I'm no idiot.

"Nooooo ... I want ssshicken! Kentucky fried ssshicken!"

Freaking lips are like rubber, I pucker them together. I look up just in time to see the anxiety flashing for a brief second behind his eyes ... probably bringing back some bad memories ... maybe we should just have pizza.

"Okay ... if that's what you want ... one ssshicken comin' right up!"

Wait ... hell ... come on mouth ... work with me here ... this is freaking exhausting ...

"No ... not jus any ssshicken ... I want the ..."

Shit ... what's the word ... it's the top part of the chicken ... I point to my chest, hoping Sammy will catch on ...

"What Dean? What chicken to you want? A burger?"

I growl in frustration ... he can be thicker than two bricks when he wants to be ...

"... I want the ... top part ..."

I wave my hand around my chest again ... that's right Lassie ... read the signs ...

"The top part?"

If I weren't feeling so weak I'd get up right now and kick his ass.

"Come on Dean, spill it, what part of the chicken to you want ..."

The dumb bastard ...

"I want the ..." shit what is the word ... " I want the ... boobs ..."

Sammy snorts, a huge smile instantly plastered on his face.

"The boobs?"

"Yeah ... the boobs ... the honkers ... the tits ... the funbags ..." shit what is the word I'm looking for? Damn drugs are messing with my brain as well as my lips ...

Sammy bursts out laughing, falling back off the bed as he lands on the floor, rolling around ... screams of laughter filling the small room ... he stops for a second to look at me again, trying to catch his breath, before rolling over again, clutching his stomach with one hand while wiping furiously at his eyes with the other. I watch him with uncertainty ... maybe he's possessed?

"What?"

The kids obviously lost it ... but he's humor is contagious so I grin back goofily. He finally calms down enough to straighten up a bit and talk through his hysterical hiccups.

"You mean the breast ... you want the breast part of the chicken?"

Yeah ... that's it.

I nod my head hopefully as he bursts into another round of laughter. I wait impatiently for him to come to his senses ... what the hell's so funny?

He manages to gather himself again after a few more moments of mirth ... wiping his nose as tears continue to stream down his face ...

"Um ... what type of breast do you want ... the middle or the outer bit?"

It's worse than I thought ... he's not possessed ... his obviously stupid ...

"The **chicken** bit ... I want a chicken breast Sammy ... what other breasts do you get?"

Sammy roars with laughter again shaking his head furiously and clutching at his chest as he bends over, staggering out the door, ... I can hear him muttering something about 'going to have to surprise me' as he continues to laugh hysterically ... I think the pressure has finally gotten to him ... damn kid seriously needs to get laid ...

_**The end ;0)**_

_Laid ... another chicken reference LOL ... I crack myself up ... ;0)_


End file.
